You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
