But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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