at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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