Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She's the barista slut.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
