I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
