2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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