But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
