Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
