I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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