Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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