white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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