Kiss
Puke
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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