glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
