Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize