One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
