My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
