I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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