Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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