he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
