I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Even my vagina gasped.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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