you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
