he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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