I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
