i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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