Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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