This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
