I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
