She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
