She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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