is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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