Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Alive.
So much puke
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
