I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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