at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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