Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
