living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
