hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
