i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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