And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
