Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This baby is an asshole
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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