I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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