new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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