I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
