are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My ATM looks so different sober.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
