I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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