Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
