just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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