I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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