please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
