do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
