Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
