i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Plan B is the new Plan A
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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