I wish i was in the wii world.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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