I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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