Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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