Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
