u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
