Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
