Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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