I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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