I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize