It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's rum buckets o'clock
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
