Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I love having hate sex.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
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