the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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