Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize