i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
