She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
