Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
