i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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