took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
