party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
