I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
