so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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